i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
