So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
