5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
