okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
