I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Small penises have feelings too.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
