when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
