I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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