Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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