im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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