I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
