Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
