Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
