ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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