We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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