Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
