Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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