I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
