fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
