even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
