and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
