I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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