I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
