you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
