i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Every concussion has its silver lining
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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