Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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