dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
