What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
