3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
