My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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