When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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