In the future we'll all be gay
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
