No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
