is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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