how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
