just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
