Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
