OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
