I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
