I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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