Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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