no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
