remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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