foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
