whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
