Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
