Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
