i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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