I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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