Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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