So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
