Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
