im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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